Things men say that turn women off

17 April 2015

I often hear men say that women are complicated and that no one will ever understand them, even if they don’t understand themselves.

However, I believe that claim is contrary to the facts, and men are complicated. Some would say that view is just my defence mechanism kicking in.

The honest observation would be to say that humans are complicated, regardless of sex, race or creed, and we owe it all to the human condition.

However, there are things in life, that don’t require rocket science. Things that you ought to know are offensive without anyone having to tell you that they are.

Usually these things come in the form of comments that have nothing to do with how complicated the recipient is.

I can’t speak for everyone, but most women would agree that men say the most ignorant, offensive things and pretend they are shocked when they offend women.

At times, they think they are giving you a compliment, which is even more offensive. Top on my list is “You remind me of my mother”.

I don’t know what kind of sick, twisted relationship you have with your mother but I for one would not like to be compared to her.

This statement could mean one of two things; either you think your mother is an old annoying cow who won’t leave you alone or you are a mama’s boy looking for someone to coddle you, either way, I want no part of it.

I want you to see me as a sexy, seductive girlfriend, not a mother figure.

“How old are you again?”, this is the most annoying question because men don’t ask with the sole purpose knowing your age, but so they can put you in a box, and attribute everything you do to your age.

Everything becomes a matter of “I’m not surprised you are saying that because you’re only 23” or “You have no idea what I’m talking about because you are so young.”

They disregard the fact that you are most likely more educated, more travelled, more experienced and more of everything than they are because of your age.

The one thing I never give into is when a man says “Take my number and call me,” especially when he has his phone in hand but wants you to chase after him.

Unless I asked for your number myself, I will never take it, and if I do (out of courtesy) I will never call you and delete it as soon as I get home.

A man who shows right from the start that he wants to be sought after is most likely not worth the chase, and is just doing that to massage his ego.

“How many guys have you dated/slept with?” At what point does that sound like a good question to ask?

We live in a world where there are double standards for men and women, especially where the issue of sex is concerned, so why would I arm you with information that you can use against me?

Is it that you want to lengthen my list? Call me a prude? Or tell me that I’m a whore? Why is how many sexual partners a woman has had so important to men?

The statement “You remind me of my ex,” is perhaps the most offensive, yet confusing, thing you could ever say to a woman.

No one wants to hear that she reminds you of someone you are no longer in a relationship with – someone you don’t want to be with.

That statement could mean one of two things; you are just not that into her because she reminds you of someone whom you broke up with and you’re not willing to go down that path again.

Or two, she broke up with you and you’re still hung up on her and need a replacement for her.

“You are smart for a girl” and you are pretty dumb for a boy. I find it surprising that in 2015 men still say chauvinistic things like that, but it happens.

Even after all the strides science has made to prove that men and women are intellectual equals, you still find men who think women are their inferiors.

“Women can’t drive,” if that the case then why do you have institutions such as First for Women that only insures women because they have found that they are more cautious drivers.

The reason men think that women can’t drive is because they adhere to traffic rules while they want to behave like maniacs on the road and project their inferiorities onto women.

We are good driver, no, great drivers, and you are the ones who need to have your license suspended.

I have only heard this statement from those fools who think that somehow the colour of their skin is some majestic thing: “Have you ever been with a black/white/Asian man?”

Yes I have, now what? Are you going to change your race and skin colour like a chameleon until you become a race that I have been with?

Then what? What do you have, or what will you do, that is so different that no man of any other race can’t do or doesn’t have?

Most of these statements I can often overlook and play them down as ignorance. However, the two I will not stand for are, “What is wrong with you? Why are you still single?” and “Wow, you have a healthy appetite!”

I don’t see how my relationship status is an indicator of whether something is wrong with me or not, and yes I do have a healthy appetite, I am neither sick nor am I anorexic or bulimic.
This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.

 tortise consultancy


The Windhoek Observer is an English-language weekly newspaper, published in Namibia by Paragon Investment Holding. It is the country's oldest and largest circulating weekly.

Contact Us

Windhoek Observer House
c/o John Meinert & Rossini Street
Windhoek West
Tel: +264 61 411 800
Fax: +264 61 226 098