The ranting of a fashion nut: Buy a mirror

06 February 2015

I will be the first to admit I am guilty of being a fashexists, yes, fashexists, which basically means fashion sexist.

When it comes to fashion, I tend to overlook men unless it is a truly horrendous look whereas the smallest slip-up with women will not get past me.

It is because of this that men get away with looking like Bobo the clown up to a point where they are too set in their fashion faux pas ways to change.

These men give the impression that they intentionally try to look horrible with their fashion sense. I can’t tell whether it’s their way of warding off women (or men), or letting women (or men) know that they are single and ready to mingle.

One thing I am sure of is that they do not have mirrors or any reflective surfaces in their houses, because if they did, they would not leave their houses dressed that way. Do you honestly need someone to tell you that wearing camouflage shorts with a neon pink shirt is a big no-no? Does that mean you also need someone to hold your hand when you cross the street? Maybe you need me to tuck you into bed.

Men have it so much easier than women do, because they can get away with doing the bare minimum, or rather putting in the least effort when it comes to their fashion, but they still manage to screw it up.

Follow the basic principles of colour and fashion. For example, if you are wearing shorts, adding socks and sandals to that ensemble is a horrible decision.

No one is born with a fashion sense, so there is no shame in reading up about the fashion trend that speaks to you.

Look at what other people are wearing, and if those looks work for you, then you can work on how you can style them to fit you.

If that is too much work, hire a stylist or ask one of the shop assistants at your favourite retailer what would work well with you.

If you still feel all that is too much, you have two simpler options. Take the myopic goggles off and look at yourself in the mirror.

You should really look and scrutinise your choice in clothing before leaving the judgement-free zone that is your house, or walk out naked.

I have had a phobia of naked people for the longest time; I once had a panic attack because my friend thought it was cute for her to strip naked. With all that said, I would much rather have this city crawling with butt naked men than seeing them confidently walking around in their “clown” attire.

No one is asking you to give up a limb or to sacrifice an organ, but just show you love yourself by dressing the part.

If you are not going to do it for yourself, do it for me, for everyone else who will have to look at you, and for the children!

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