Winter 2018 is finally here and so is the World Cup, something a lot of people have been waiting for. Many (mostly men) will be hooked onto their TVs and smart devices. But this week, I don’t want to talk about soccer, I mean, everyone is already talking about it.
Let’s rather focus on something more different. This week I want to talk about men and their egos and pride.
First of all, there is a difference between men’s ego and their pride.
I hear the word ego almost every second day mainly from women because they like saying “men and their egos” as an exasperated blame-magnet for all the things men do wrong. But what is ego?
The dictionary tells us that ego is: “the ‘I’ or self of any person; a person as thinking, feeling, and willing; distinguishing itself from the selves of others. Ego also means self-esteem or self-image.”
Along with the definition above, the connotation of ‘ego’ to me is its association with being fake and negative. Ego is that inner you that tells you to keep on arguing even if you are wrong only because you don’t want to lose. It is that voice that tells you to stand your ground even if you are wrong.
Have you ever been involved in an argument with someone and later realize that the other party was right but you don’t want to accept the fact? That’s an example of ego. Men usually don’t like getting their egos bruised or threatened.
That stubborn ego will not allow you to say sorry; it does not know guilt. Egos can be like candy. A little candy can be good for you, but too much is bad for your teeth.
On the other hand, pride is having a high opinion of one's own dignity, importance, or merit, whether as cherished in the mind or as displayed in bearing, conduct.
My connotation of pride is an uplifting feeling almost like an achievement that you have made - like that game winning shot during penalty time or performance bonus at work for a project perfectly completed.
Being proud can be a good thing, but having too much of it is bad. Too much pride becomes something that you can feel ashamed of because you begin to feel entitled; you live like everybody owes you everything.
In my opinion, a man with a big ego is someone women should stay away from because with that inflated sense of self, comes narcissistic behavior and a need to control everything. A woman in a relationship with a man with a big ego will soon start to feel like she isn’t enough because that is how he expects you to feel. He will want (and try) to control and predict everything you do so that you can meet his standards.
An appropriate amount of pride can be a good quality in a man because he becomes a man of his word. He is proud of his successes, accomplishments and even his lady. To him, every task he takes on or every woman he approaches, he sees as a positive part of his life.
That said, it can be a problem when a man has too much pride because he won’t be able to apologize or ask for help. When a man (who needs assistance) doesn’t ask for help, he isn’t able to improve himself.
The bottom line is that men with egos don’t usually have solid backbones to stand up and take the hits and misses of the world. Whereas, men with a healthy level of pride, recognize that they must put something in, to get something out. Ladies out there, choose wisely – ego vs pride.