Confessions of a couch cat: Grab that young guy
Single, widowed and divorced women over 40 out there, do not limit your love life to ‘men your age.’ Don’t worry about the negative labels and snide glances from people. If you see a fine ‘tenderoni’ (an unmarried young man) out there who is ripe for the pickin’ and attracted to you, go for it.
If he is younger than you, who cares? Who said that age should be a barrier when having a love affair or a deep meaningful relationship?
These old, wrinkled, beer-bellied, grey haired men of 50 or even in their 70s are dating and marrying women 20 or 30 years younger than themselves. Why is it that men can do this with only a few eyebrows raised (while their macho male peers cheer them on unashamedly), but when a woman does it, all in society see it as one of the worst crimes against humanity?
Our 21st century heralds not just advanced technology, greater communication and interconnected societies, but cultural changes too. We no longer accept myths and unproven stereotypes like we did 20 or 30 years ago. Experience, evidence, science and information have changed everything.
We all know that many things people ‘believe’ are not always true. So why does society still hold on to the negative taboo about cougars (as women who date younger men are called nowadays) and their young partners? There are much greater things to worry about in the big wide world. Live and let live!
Life is too short to pass up LOVE and happiness because of other people’s jealousies and fears. Society is good in many ways, but it demands conformity. Anyone acting outside the ‘box’ is chastised and urged in one way or another, to get back inside the box.
Age is a box; ‘you can’t do this or that because you have reached this or that age.’ Age is used as an excuse that can be a barrier to smiles, laughter, sated lust and good fun. There are too many things in this world that are so sad, miserable and worrying. Why not chase legal and reasonable good times whenever possible?
Ladies with a bit of grey in your hair, get your stuff together, and go on the hunt! Go to the gym, modernize your wardrobe, get a new hairstyle and do your nails. Go to events and programs, open your mind and see what’s out there for you. Realistically set your hook (if that is what you want) and go fishin’; don’t let your age hinder what you want to do with YOUR life.
You young, unattached bucks out there take note: An older woman may have more to offer in a relationship than some of these young, vapid, inexperienced, broke young girls running around these days. Think about it. If the chemistry is right and two people connect, then a person that is surer of what she wants, and who she is, can be a part of a more stable relationship.
Someone who is not looking to have a baby, does not need or want someone to buy her Brazilian extensions or the latest iPhone or be their “blesser”, is a better option. A mature woman usually has her own resources and values her independence highly; she may just be a better choice for a meaningful relationship or a mutually enjoyable physical tryst.
A more mature ‘hottie’ has ‘been there and done that’. She doesn’t panic if a guy she is dating cannot be reached by telephone, and will not pop up at his house expecting to ‘catch’ him with another woman. She has experience in the world and doesn’t scare easily. She’s more likely to have seen your faults before and knows how to deal with them.
She is probably not interested in changing you into the imaginary ‘perfect husband.’ She is likely to be a fountain of information and confidence building for her young ‘catch’ and usually would give more informed inputs to the relationship. She will see things as they are, not as she dreams they will be. Marriage and/or someone hovering around her everyday may not be what she wants and she’ll say that right from the start.
You guys out there take note: An older single lady knows what she needs in bed and in her life. She has been the Viagra route with older guys who she dates and she is likely ready for someone who doesn’t need life support after round one of intercourse.
She may want modern thinking instead of someone too tied to traditional views and roles for women or a grey-haired man who sits around guzzling beer and watching sports games and waits to be served.
Maybe she prefers a young brotha’ who will cook dinner for her once in a while or shares an evening cooking dinner with her as a way of enjoying each other’s company on another level.
She may like going on more active ‘dates’ that a younger guy may also enjoy. She might like spending a day out biking or hiking, dancing all night, going to the movies or a show, sharing a book together and then debating its meaning. Swimming naked in the night at the beach, taking weekend activity trips or even playing video games together may be high on her agenda.
An older man would want to take her to the village so she can show his family how much cooking, washing clothes, planting and/or cleaning she can do – that might be his idea of ‘spending quality time’ with a woman he cares for.
Beyoncé sings about the single ladies out there and urges them to have some fun and love themselves as they search for either deep commitment or meaningful companionship. People need to give older ladies a break if they settle on a younger guy – just like they give these ancient men a break when they see them with younger women.
The point is this: Love and joy are important goals; age is just a number. Ladies, go find that young man, and if it works for both of you, then, grab him.